So. I want a tattoo. I’ve wanted one for years, but I could never settle on an idea. Just the thought of something being permanently on my body kind of scares me. I’ve played around with bible verses, although I’m not extremely religious, I’ve wanted a K behind my ear, but it wouldn’t be professional….I’ve even gone to a tattoo shop and backed out the last second.
What is with this phobia? My parents disapproval? Possibly. Afraid of the pain? Probably.
I want something that expresses myself,and something I can look back on and smile, because in that moment, I was free. I was free from judgment and worry, I did something a little crazy, and I just lived.
As I look towards my last semester as an undergrad and start finishing my graduate school applications, I realize with
dread apprehension, I am going to have to start acting and looking like a grown up. Maybe this last semester it will be okay, but once I am in graduate school, there will be no more rolling out of bed an attending class. I will actually have to get up, put effort into how I look. Ugh! Right now I am a pro at waking up 15 minutes before class, throwing on a headband and hoodie, and brushing my teeth and getting to class on time (or within 5 minutes of the start of class……) But now, I am expected to get a job, go to work, gain experience and dress up!!! Don’t get me wrong, I ADORE doing my hair and makeup and putting on pretty clothes, what kind of princess would I be if I didn’t? But I HATE getting up early. I hate getting up early more than anything. I love staying in bed. It’s so warm, and cozy, and why would anyone want to leave???
On a positive note, I have finally been accepted to Kansas State University to study Public Administration. My mom and I road-tripped down to Manhattan over Spring Break and I signed a lease for an apartment, and things are slowly lining up for next year! I’m extremely excited and I realize how incredibly blessed I am!!